


An Evil a Day

by SelanPike



Series: Moebean Saga [6]
Category: Mario & Luigi RPG (Video Games), Mario Story | Paper Mario, Super Mario & Related Fandoms, Super Mario Bros. (Video Game), Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars, Super Paper Mario (Game)
Genre: Gen, probably some other characters too - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-20
Updated: 2016-04-20
Packaged: 2018-06-03 08:13:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 17,725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6603457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SelanPike/pseuds/SelanPike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of one-shots about various characters, mostly villains, from the Mario universe. Written in my failed attempt at doing the fanfic100 challenge.  Originally published on FF.N from 2007 to 2009.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> Some of these are better than others, but some things should be noted:
> 
> \- At the time these were written, Bowser's Inside Story (and any games after it) hadn't yet been released.
> 
> \- At the time these were written, Nintendo had not said that the Koopalings weren't Bowser's kids.
> 
> Thank you for your patience with this very old fanfiction.

001\. Beginnings.

Fawful sat on a rock in a field. It was a relatively featureless plain, surrounded on all sides by the oddly cylindrical hills that were so common in the Mushroom Kingdom, and the only things of interest were the occasional bump in the ground and a few rocks.

A goomba stood on the ground near the rock, and he and Fawful had been conversing for a while. The goomba hadn't bothered to tell Fawful his name and Fawful didn't care enough to ask.

"So how did you come to work for Cackletta, anyway?" the Goomba asked.

Fawful shrugged. "My memory is not entirely with clarity. I was but a small child when I first had the joining of the great Cackletta."

The goomba continued watching Fawful, waiting for him to tell the tale. Fawful sighed and decided to indulge him.

"I had the age of perhaps three or four years. I was being living in the woods and Cackletta was finding me. She took the one who is me and had giving me clothes and shelter and many sandwiches and I had the becoming of her loyal toady."

"So why were you living in the woods?"

"I am not knowing."

"Where were your parents during all this?"

Fawful scratched his head. "Parents?"

"Don't you have any?"

"I am supposing not," Fawful said.

The goomba shook the upper part of its body as though shaking its head. "That's kind of sad."

"I am not thinking so," Fawful adjusted his glasses. "Are not parents in existing for the sake of punishing and the 'have going to your room' and the making of one eat spinach?"

The goomba shrugged. "Not as such, but…"

"I am not caring," Fawful said. "I had the having Cackletta. The great Cackletta possessed superiority over all parents."

The goomba opened his mouth to speak, but noticed something in the sky.

"There's a Magikoopa heading this way," he said.

Fawful looked up and smiled. "Rururu I have popularity! Be excusing me."

Fawful then proceeded to fire his rockets and fly away in the opposite direction of the approaching Magikoopa.


	2. Middles

002\. Middles.

Kammy Koopa poked at Kamek's belly, eliciting a frown and a dirty glare from the male Magikoopa.

"Looks like you're gaining weight, Kamek," she said, not bothering to hide the amusement in her voice.

"I am not," he said, brushing Kammy's hand away.

Kammy leaned on her broom, smiling smugly. "There's no need to be in denial about it. It's perfectly normal for a man your age to get a little pudgy around the middle."

"My age?" he hissed, "Don't talk about me like I'm an old man. I'm younger than you, _hag_."

"Yes, yes, but notice that _I_ haven't been getting fat."

"Oh, haven't you?" Kamek grinned, "And that's why you spend so much on expensive girdles?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kammy said, crossing her arms.

"Don't you?" Kamek reached into his sleeve and produced a receipt, holding it out. "I found this just the other day. Isn't this the sort of girdle that's advertised as being specifically designed to hide a protruding belly?"

"That isn't mine!"

"It's got your credit card number on it."

Kammy gritted her teeth, both frustrated with the revealing of her secret and also bewildered at how Kamek would know her credit card number. She snatched the receipt away from Kamek's hand and ripped it to pieces.

"My, my," Kamek tilted his head to the side, " _Now_ who's in denial?"

She huffed and stomped off.


	3. Ends

003\. Ends.

The Koopalings had a room of their own, set aside so that they could play on their own without disturbing the rest of the Koopa Troop. For the most part they rarely stayed in it, usually preferring to cause mischief among the other koopas, but some days they decided instead to cause mischief amongst themselves and stuck to their playroom.

And so it was on this day.

"Are you guys serious?" asked the youngest, Bowser Jr.

The other seven nodded in unison.

"Of course," said Iggy.

"Would we lie to you?" asked Wendy, smiling sweetly.

"Well…," Bowser Jr. scratched his head.

"Don't answer that," said Roy.

"But I don't get it," said Bowser Jr., "Why would I want to kick King Dad in the butt?"

"See, we've all done it," Larry explained, "All of us, at your age, would sneak up and kick King Dad in the butt. It's like a… a…," he turned his head to his siblings and whispered, "What is it?"

"A rite of passage," hissed Ludwig.

"Right, right! A rite of passage!" Larry finished.

"Cooool," said Bowser Jr., his face full of awe. "But… won't dad be mad at me?"

"No," said Morton, "Course not! He thinks it's hilarious!"

Bowser Jr. smiled. "Okay! I'm doing it!"

"Go! Go!" shouted Lemmy.

"Do it!" added Iggy.

"I'm gonna!" Bowser Jr. turned to the doors, "I'll be right back, guys!"

The seven elder Koopalings cheered and encouraged him as their youngest sibling marched to the door and out into the hall. As the doors closed and Bowser Jr. was out of earshot, they all looked to each other and began to laugh.

"He is _so_ dead," Wendy chuckled.

"Ohh yes," Ludwig agreed, "He iz dead meat."


	4. Insides

004\. Insides.

Doopliss sat in his armchair, watching TV atop the Creepy Steeple. He flipped around absently, not really able to find anything worth watching. Some Boos were flying about around the steeple, which annoyed Doopliss slightly. Those stupid Boos bugged him for no particular reason. He had succeeded in sealing them all away for a while, until that stupid Mario had come along and let them all out again. He really didn't want to have to catch them all again.

Looking away from his TV, he noticed a group of Boos look over to him, look away, and laugh amongst themselves. He frowned and walked over to the edge of the roof.

"Hey!" he shouted, "What're you all laughing at?"

"We were just talkin' about how you're not a real ghost," said one of the Boos.

"Not a real ghost?" Doopliss said, incredulous, "How the heck am I not a real ghost?"

"Look, you're just wearing a sheet," said another Boo. "There's got to be something inside that sheet, right?"

"Just a wannabe in a costume," said a third Boo.

Doopliss growled. "I'm not a guy in a sheet! I'm a ghost! I'm a duplighost, okay, this is just how we look!"

"Wannabees, all of you," the third Boo said.

"What, are you prejudiced or something?" Doopliss rolled his eyes and then poofed himself into the shape of a Boo. "Here, this better? Booooo, I'm a Boo. I'm a shy little coward that likes to cover my face, booooo."

"Wannabe," the second Boo said.

"Would you stop saying that!" Doopliss returned to his previous form. "I'm a ghost, okay! I'm not a guy in a sheet. There isn't anything inside this sheet."

"Prove it," said the first Boo.

"What? You mean take off my sheet?" Doopliss shook his head, "It's not happening, slick."

"Common, take it off."

"No!"

One of the Boos flew over and grabbed Doopliss's sheet, ripping it off to reveal—

Nothing?

"Hey! You jerk, give that back!" Doopliss said, reduced to nothing but a pair of orange feet.

"I—I guess he really is a ghost," said the Boo holding Doopliss's sheet, looking to the other Boos with a surprised expression.

"I told you!" an invisible hand grabbed onto the sheet and pulled it from the Boo. It fell onto Doopliss's invisible form and Doopliss returned to normal. He picked up his hat from where it had fallen on the ground and put it back onto his head. "Can't just take my word for it, of course not! Jeez."

Doopliss stomped off and threw himself back into his chair, fuming while watching some commercial on his TV.

"Jerks," he muttered. "I'm the great Doopliss, I shouldn't have to deal with this sort of thing, hmph…"

The three Boos looked to each other, bewildered, before floating away.


	5. Seeking Solace

005\. Seeking Solace

Fawful walked through the halls of Woohoo Hooniversity.

It was one of the school's breaks, and the place was largely deserted. Nevertheless, Fawful wore a hooded cloak to hide his identity. He'd even invested in a green cloak, since the red one gave him away. He hated the green cloak.

Today was his birthday. Or, at least—it was the day he celebrated his birthday on. He didn't know his real birthday, nor was he completely sure how old he was. This day, rather, was the day Cackletta found him. She'd taken him in and named him and trained him to be the villain he was now—it was the day that Fawful, loyal servant of Cackletta, was born.

And now she was gone.

It'd been a year since her death. He'd learned to get along on his own, but special occasions like this made him feel the sting of her loss anew.

He remembered when she was still around, they would celebrate his birthday by attacking some innocent bystanders or by stealing a cake and eating it in front of hungry children. They had such great fun. But now… he felt so lonely. He wished she was still here. He wished he had someone, anyone to comfort him.

He found himself in the laboratory where he and Cackletta had tried to awaken the Beanstar. If only things had gone according to plan on that day. If only…

The room hadn't been used since their attempts. The great hole in the floor remained; the university probably didn't have the money to fix it, or perhaps they liked keeping it like that as something to laugh at. 'Oh, those stupid villains, see how badly they failed? Ha ha ha.'

Fawful kicked a piece of debris. He had fury.

And then something caught his eye.

Hanging off of the edge of the hole in the floor was a tattered piece of cloth. Upon closer inspection, he found that it was a piece of Cackletta's old dress. He took it into his hands and, after staring at it for a moment, wrapped it around himself. It still smelled like her, if only very faintly. He sat down, on the edge of the hole, huddled up in the cloth for a long time.

Cackletta was gone, but this piece of her still remained. It wasn't much, but he'd found just the slightest bit of solace in it.


	6. Break Away

006\. Break Away

The Axem Rangers were tired of this. The constant cycle of Smithy attacking a dimension, getting defeated by some local hero, and then Smithy's henchman rebuilding him and the process beginning anew. It was so tedious, so frustrating! They themselves had been rebuilt hundreds of times and honestly they were sick of it.

And so they ran off, escaping to the Mushroom Kingdom while Smithy was incapacitated. He'd built a new set of Axem Rangers, surely, and that was fine. Those new Axem Rangers could continue the neverending fight—they themselves, though, were done.

Of course, there was the matter of getting on their feet in this new world. The only experience they had here was their quick travels to steal Star Pieces and fight Mario. Establishing a new life here was a different matter entirely.

"Can we rest now?" asked Axem Pink. "It's hot and I need to fix my make-up."

"No," said Axem Red. "We need to find a hideout."

"I think we need to find lunch," Axem Yellow said.

"We need to find a hideout," Axem Red insisted.

"It needs to be a fortress," Axem Black said, adjusting his shades, "With black walls and gargoyles looking over the edge. And… strobe lights. Strobe lights are cool."

"Where are we going to get all that?" Asked Axem Green.

Axem Black shrugged. "We're bad guys. Lets just go steal a fortress from someone and fix it up."

"That's actually not a bad idea," said Axem Red. "We've just gotta find a fortress somewhere."

"It can't be that hard," Said Axem Green. "Aren't fortresses all over the place in the Mushroom Kingdom?"

"I think so," said Axem Black.

"Let's ask someone where one is," suggested Axem Pink.

"We can find one on our own," said Axem Red.

"There's someone!" Axem Green started waving to a figure flying overhead. "Hey! Heeeey! We wanna ask something!"

The figure stopped and paused, as though inspecting the group. Finally it flew down to the ground, revealing itself to be a small Beanish boy with thick swirly glasses and a strange helmet with rockets on its sides. His face was twisted into a very unnerving grin and he looked at the group with interest.

"What are you wanting?" he asked.

"We wanna know where the nearest fortress is," said Axem Red.

"Yeah!" Axem Black chimed in, "We're gonna storm that place!"

"Shut up!" Axem red whispered.

"And where's the nearest burger joint?" asked Axem Yellow.

"Shut up!" Axem Red insisted.

"Hmm," the Bean chuckled. "Ruru… what will you have giving to me if I am assisting the strange things who are yourselves?"

Axem Black shook his fist. "Who you callin' strange?!"

Axem Red shoved Axem Black before reaching into his storage compartment. He pulled out a few bolts and paperclips, but no money. He sighed and held out the useless material, hoping that the stranger would help them anyway.

The Bean took the bolts and looked them over. "This does not have sufficiency," he said before putting the bolts into his pocket.

"Then you could give me back my bolts," Axem Red said.

The Bean shook his head. "No, I am requiring payment as you have had the wasting of the time of mine which is valuable. This is not much, but it will have doing." He then smiled and stuck his tongue out, blowing a raspberry at them as he fired his rockets and started to fly away.

"What the—did he just blow a raspberry at us?!" Axem Red asked, incredulous.

"Nobody blows raspberries at the Axem Rangers!" Axem Green shouted.

Axem Black pulled a bomb out and tossed it at the Bean, shouting a haughty "Take THIS!"

The Bean dodged the bomb—Axem Black's cry had given him warning enough to see it coming. As a response, he turned and started shooting bolts of energy at them from his headgear. The bolts hit the dirt with enough force to cause an explosion, tossing the Axem Rangers into the air. The Bean continued flying away, his high-pitched laugh fading away as he put more and more distance between himself and the battered Axem Rangers.

Axem Green groaned. "Nice going, Black."

Axem Black smacked Axem Green upside his head.

Axem Yellow grunted as he tried to get back on his feet. "Hey, Red?"

Axem Red pulled his face out from the dirt. "Yeah?"

"Can we get some lunch now?"

Axem Red growled and buried his face in the dirt once more.


	7. Heaven

007\. Heaven.

Doopliss shook his head, blinking bewilderedly.

"Wait, say that again?"

His companion was a Boo. It was smaller than most other Boos, and also shyer than most. It looked away when even Doopliss, a fellow ghost, looked upon it, and spoke in a small whisper at all times. Doopliss wasn't sure why this ghost had decided to cling to him tonight, and indeed he'd never seen this ghost before, despite being pretty familiar with all of the other ghosts that haunted the Creepy Steeple and the surrounding areas. It had just started following him when he had gone out for a walk that evening and hadn't left him alone since.

"I said," the Boo was looking away, which irritated Doopliss. "What do you think the afterlife is like?"

"That's a stupid question," Doopliss grumbled, walking up a staircase in the steeple. "We're ghosts, this _is_ the afterlife."

"But—but-" the Boo whispered. "Not everyone becomes a ghost, right?"

"How should I know?" The Boo, not looking where it was going while it avoided Doopliss's gaze, accidentally floated closer to the duplighost's face and Doopliss swatted it away.

"What if we're missing out on something?" the Boo fluttered through the air, not righting itself after Doopliss had hit it and instead just allowing itself to fall into an upside-down position in the air.

"What if we're not?" Doopliss asked in reply. "What if we're the lucky ones and there's nothing on the other side? Ever think about that, slick?"

"There's got to be something."

"Like _what_?" Doopliss stood at the top of the staircase, glaring at the Boo as hard as he could in hopes that it could feel his gaze.

"Like…," the Boo's voice trembled, frightened by the sharpness in Doopliss's voice. "Like heaven."

Doopliss laughed. A hearty laugh, the sort he used when he really, _really_ wanted to humiliate someone. The Boo lowered itself a bit as it heard his laugh, ashamed and embarrassed.

"Hah! Heaven!" Doopliss scoffed, "What could be better than this? We live forever like this! We can do whatever we want! No one can stop us because they can't kill us—they can barely even _touch_ us! Who needs _heaven_?"

"I—I don't know," the Boo murmured, "I don't know."

"That's right, slick—you _don't_ know. And who cares, really?" Doopliss laughed a little more, then waved the Boo away. "Now go away, kid, you bother me."

The Boo let out a weak whimper, then floated away, dipping and swaying sadly before fading out and disappearing. Doopliss grinned, quite pleased with himself about how he handled that situation, and then proceeded to walk up the next flight of stairs to his TV lounge. He found, by the time he sat down, that his smile had faded, his amusement didn't last him very long. He looked outside and saw the Boo floating out there, leaving the Creepy Steeple. Doopliss shifted his weight uncomfortably.

"Heaven…" he muttered to himself before turning on the TV.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (These early ones were written before Super Paper Mario had come out.... otherwise this chapter definitely would've been about the Overthere)


	8. Innocence

008\. Innocence.

Kamek walked down the halls of the castle, carrying an unconscious prince on his back.

It hadn't taken him long to figure out what had possessed Bowser Jr. to incur his father's wrath as he did. He knew it was probably the work of the elder Koopalings. There really wasn't any other explanation for why Junior would've kicked his own father in the rear.

It was always the same with those kids. They always had to play jokes on one another—and as soon as Junior was old enough to play with them, they started picking on him the most. What made it worse was that Junior was still young and didn't doubt his siblings—he was still too innocent to realize that everything they said to him were lies. Poor kid.

But Kamek couldn't help feeling a certain amount of sadness at the thought of that innocence going away someday. The young prince, at this tender age, reminded Kamek of days long past, of the times when King Bowser was still young enough to respect Kamek and to obey him when told to go to bed, eat his greens, stop setting fire to the servant's quarters… they were happy days that were eventually succeeded by years of chasing after an insolent and untamable child who lashed out at anyone who tried to tell him what to do. Surely Junior would go down the same path some day. He was so much like his father, after all.

Kamek approached the red double-doors leading to the Koopalings' chambers. He felt apprehensive about putting Junior back with his siblings, but Bowser had ordered him sent to the Koopalings' room and the king was in the sort of mood that _really_ discouraged Kamek from disobeying him.

Junior started to stir as Kamek reached for the door handle. The Magikoopa paused.

"You okay there, kid?"

"Uhnn," Junior groaned. "My head hurts."

"You gonna be okay?"

Junior buried his face in Kamek's back, whimpering. Kamek sighed and opened the door. No sooner had he opened the door that a rubber ball flew right into his forehead. He grimaced and stomped in.

"Alright, you kids, settle down!" he shouted, his disciplinarian instincts kicking in. "Your father's angry like nobody's business and you don't want him to have to come in here, believe you me!"

"Did he kill Junior?" Roy asked.

"Izzat his _corpse_ you're carrying?" asked Morton.

Junior's head peeked above Kamek's shoulder and he glared at his siblings.

"I'm not dead, you jerks!"

The seven Koopalings all started laughing at Junior in unison. Finally, Wendy added, "I can't believe you actually _did it!_ Man, are you an idiot!"

Junior growled and pounced off of Kamek's shoulders at his siblings, screaming and knocking Kamek to the ground with the force of his leap. He started to chase his siblings and spat little fireballs at them, screaming, "I'll kill you! You guys stink! _I'll kill you!_ "

Kamek rubbed his shoulder sorely, watching the ruckus. Pulling himself back onto his feet and dusting himself off, he shook his head, disappointed.

So much for innocence. These things never last.


	9. Drive

009\. Drive.

The sun was shining bright in the sky, the weather was beautiful and all in all it was a great day for kart racing.

"What are you meaning, I cannot have the racing of the karts which go very fast across the tracks which are pointless but which I wish to try racing on?!"

Daisy smiled at the enraged bean, trying to calm him down. "We're playing Double Dash today. You need a partner to race!"

"But I am not _having_ a partner!" Fawful stomped his foot to accentuate his point.

"Then you can't race."

"But I had the building of this kart which is superior to all others!"

"Yes, I see," she said, looking behind Fawful at his mechanical monstrosity. "It's very nice. It's really too bad, but rules are rules! Until you find a partner you can't race."

Fawful huffed and crossed his arms under his cloak. "Ruuu… fining. You may have the honoring of being my partner! But have remembering that you are to be doing everything I am telling you and do not have the messing up of my the paint job which makes my kart of fastness look nice!"

Daisy scratched her head. "Er… I already have a partner, sweetie. Nice try, though."

Fawful growled. "When will the idiots who are you all begin racing with just singles once again?"

"I don't know, racing with partners is so much fun! It might be a while before we go back to singles."

Fawful resisted the urge to activate his Headgear's blasters and just start shooting. He couldn't imagine they'd _ever_ let him race if he did that.

Fawful waved Daisy away. "Fining. I will have coming back on some other day which is not today. I am hoping you are crashing and exploding and burning!"

"Better luck next time," she said. She turned and walked away, shaking her head and frowning as she got further away.

Fawful threw himself into the driver's seat of his kart and sighed harshly.

"Stupid fink-rats," he grumbled, "They give me such fury with their 'dash of doubleness' and their rules which are stupid like brussels sprout ice-cream. I have fury."

He turned on the ignition on the kart and prepared to drive away, but the loud revving of the engine caught the attention of a nearby goomba, who dashed over to look at the kart.

"Wow!" he said, "What an awesome kart!"

"Yes," Fawful nodded, "I am in agreement."

"Are you racing today?" the goomba asked.

"I _would_ have being, but…," Fawful frowned.

"Oh, right, they're racing doubles today, aren't they? Don't you have a partner?"

Fawful's frown deepened.

"Aw, man!" the goomba jumped up and down, "Okay, okay! I got the best idea!"

"What is it being?"

" _I'll_ be your partner!"

Fawful looked over the goomba. He didn't look particularly competent, but then what harm could he do? The kart was built so that everything could be controlled by Fawful himself; this goomba would only have to sit in the back and pretend to actually belong there. Fawful shrugged.

"What the hecking. O of Kay."

"Sweet!" The goomba climbed into the back seat, a huge grin on his face.

"By the waying," Fawful said, turning to face his new companion, "Have I had meeting you before?"

The goomba shook his head. "Nope!"

Fawful thought he looked like the goomba he had told stories of his childhood to. But then again, all Goombas looked alike to him.

The goomba spoke again. "My name's Goomber. What's yours, _partner?_ "

"I am the villain who is known as Fawful," Fawful replied, putting the kart into gear.

"Awesome!" the goomba bounced on his seat. "I've heard of you! You and Cackletta nearly had the Mario brothers for sure! Aw man, it's an honor to ride with you!"

Fawful nodded, smiling as he started driving toward the track. "Yes, I am possessing much amazingness."

Fawful drove to the starting line, where the race was about to begin. He stopped his car at the line and looked to his side. Daisy was in her kart with Luigi in the back seat. Fawful stuck his tongue out at the both of them and then said, "I have had the finding of a partner!"

"Good for you!" Daisy replied. Fawful couldn't tell if she was being sarcastic or sincere.

The flag was waved and the karts all set off, Fawful gaining a quick lead. Goomber turned and blew raspberries at everyone else as Fawful put more and more distance between himself and the other drivers.

"Hey! Fawful, sir!" Goomber said after a while.

"What is it being?" Fawful said, still paying close attention to the road.

"I picked up an item!"

"Is it an item of any use?"

"I think so!"

"Then have using it!"

"Okay!" Goomber grinned, "Here I go!"

And with that, Goomber threw forward a banana peel.

Of course, throwing a banana peel in _front_ of one's kart isn't the smartest idea, especially not without notifying your driver that his current path will no longer be the safest route. Therefore, it should not be surprising that Fawful's kart soon began to skid, a banana peel under the tire, and soon flipped into the air, crash-landing upside-down in the grass.

Fawful growled loudly, pinned under the kart. "You are being the greatest idiot of stupidity I have had ever seeing with the eyes which are behind the glasses on my head!"

"Oops," Goomber had been thrown from the vehicle and landed a few feet away, dizzy but unharmed. "Guess I messed up, didn't I?"

"I will have the destroying of you!" Fawful tried to activate his Headgear, but it was damaged now. "You may have considering yourself to be a fungus containing much, much luck for I am stuck and am unable to harm you bodily!"

Goomber took a few steps toward Fawful. "Hey, man, I'm sorry! I swear it won't happen next time!"

" _Go have throwing the one who is yourself into **traffic!** " _Fawful screamed.

Goomber stepped even closer. "Sorry, what was that? A kart drove by, and I couldn't—"

Fawful grabbed Goomber, who was now in arm's reach, by the head and, with all of his might, threw him back onto the track.

Fawful put his face into the grass. He desperately hoped the Mario brothers wouldn't be the ones to have to help him out of this.


	10. Memory

010\. Memory

Kamek had to admit that in his old age, his memory wasn't what it used to be.

Not that he would admit to being _old_ , no—just… old _er_.

So when things started disappearing from where he had left them and showing up in other places, at first he assumed that he simply forgot he had put them there. It really wasn't so odd for him to have put that bag of magic dust in the second drawer rather than the first, was it?  
It was when his underwear started showing up in bags of chips and his crystal ball appeared on a platform over a lava pit that he began to suspect that someone was messing with him.

Something had to be done.

The Koopalings laughed as they sat in their playroom, recounting their tales of mischief.

"And then—and then I put his books under King Dad's bed!" Wendy laughed.

"Good one, sis!" Iggy chuckled. "I put his shoes in the air vents leading into Kammy's room."

Larry fell over laughing. "Oh man, a double whammy!"

"The old man doesn't even know what hit him!" Morton exclaimed, "I bet he's scratchin' his head, thinkin' he's losin' his mind or somethin'!"

"Yeah!" Bowser Jr. giggled, "What a dope!"

The doors crashed open behind them, and they all turned to see Kamek standing in the doorway with the look of a man who's about to go on a rampage. The Koopalings went silent, watching their elder and wondering what he was going to do.

At length, the Magikoopa took a deep breath, regained his composure, and smiled at the eight children.

"Good morning, kids," he said, his voice oozing with false niceties, "I just wanted to pop in and say hello to my dear sweet Koopalings, and—oh, yes. Wendy, dear, it seems I forgot to tell the lackeys on laundry duty that your dresses were dry-clean only. Oh my. I do hope they come out okay. Oh, and Ludwig—I seem to have misplaced your composition book. You know, the one you write your symphonies in? Yes… ah, I hope I didn't put it on the same shelf as my magic tomes. Those books tend to get rather… _territorial…_ "

Kamek went on, listing thing after thing that he had "forgotten" or "lost", the Koopalings growing more and more horrified with each item. Kamek made a mental note that now he had to actually make sure the damage he was talking about actually manifested itself, but that was a small price to pay to make his point, he figured.

"… and Junior, I think I may have dropped that paintbrush of yours into the lava. Oh well. Have a good day, children!"

He turned on his heel and marched out of the room, smiling brightly as he went. The Koopalings stared, mouths agape and eyes wide with awe, at the old Magikoopa leaving their presence.

"Wha…"

"How…"

Ludwig was the first to manage a coherent sentence. "S-since _vhen_ did Kamek become so very _evil?!_ "

"That was _amazing,"_ Wendy said.

"I-I think he's my new hero," Bowser Jr. declared.

The seven other Koopalings all looked at their baby brother for a moment.

"Suck-up," Roy finally said.

"Brown-noser," Morton added.

"Hey!" Bowser Jr. protested.

"Just give it up, Junior," Wendy said as they all turned to go do something else.

"Heeeey!" Bowser Jr. insisted, completely insulted. "I'm _not_ a suck-up! Are you listening? Hey!"

The other Koopalings ignored their brother and busied themselves with other tasks, all making notes to themselves never to mess with Kamek ever again—or at least, don't get _caught_ again…


	11. Breathe Again

011\. Breathe Again.

The five-year-old Fawful wandered into the kitchen to find his mistress at the counter, making a sandwich.

"Hello from your loyal toady!" he greeted, walking up to her, "What sandwich of yumminess is the great Cackletta making?"

"Tuna," she said.

"Tuna?!" Fawful started jumping, trying to see onto the counter, which was much taller than he was. "But—but there was not being much of the tuna left! Surely the great Cackletta, who is you, left enough tuna for the one who is me to be making a sandwich with, yes?"

Cackletta looked over at the now-empty can of tuna to her side. "There was barely enough for my sandwich, Fawful, I couldn't leave you any."

"But _I_ was wanting a sandwich of tunaness!"

"Well, I got to it first," she put the final piece of bread atop her sandwich and put it on a plate. "So there."

"Nooo!" Fawful flailed his arms, "I have hunger, O great Cackletta! If you are to be eating the sandwich of tastiness with no regard for your loyal toady, then I will—I will have holding my breath!"

"And this is threatening why?"

"I will have holding my breath until I am passing out and dying!" he said, "And then you will have no more loyal toadies!"

Cackletta would have pointed out the fact that he couldn't have killed himself that way because once he passed out he would start breathing again, but she saw a better way to handle the situation.

"Tell you what," she said, "You do that. Hold your breath. And if you can hold your breath until I tell you to stop, then you can have the sandwich. But if you give up and breathe before I say to, then it's mine. Deal?"

Fawful nodded vigorously. "Dealing!" He then took a deep breath, pinched his nose, and held his breath.

Cackletta grinned as she watched him. Of course he'd give up, she'd never met a five-year-old in her life that could hold his breath for longer than five seconds or so. And then the sandwich would be hers and he wouldn't be able to complain because, after all, she gave him a chance, didn't she?

Heh. She amazed herself sometimes.

But then minutes passed and still he was holding his breath. By now his face had turned a dark shade of purple and was fading into blue. She frowned. He was _really_ serious about this, wasn't he? Could he really want the sandwich _that_ much? Or was it…

Was it because he wasn't just doing this for a sandwich? Now he was waiting for an order from her. He wasn't only waiting for the sandwich, he was waiting for her to tell him it was okay to breathe. She had trained him so well that he'd forsake air itself…

"Okay, okay, Fawful. You can breathe again now."

Fawful let go of his nose and opened his mouth, drawing in a loud breath. He took a moment, breathing as though his lungs were on the verge of collapse, and then held his hands out. She gave him the sandwich, and he hugged it, then ran off, humming to himself.

She sighed. Well, _he_ was happy, at least. But now she was stuck with turkey.


	12. Insanity

012\. Insanity

The Koopa King sat in his throne, rubbing his temples. He groaned.

"I just don't get it," he said to Kamek, who stood before him, "How am I _not_ the most feared bad guy in the world?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Kamek lied, "Of _course_ you're the most feared villain in the world. There's no one badder than you!"

"Don't give me that!" Bowser growled, "You know as well as I do that all these other posers have been stealin' the limelight! Like… like those X-Naut guys, and that Smithy jerk, and—and even that little green kid!"

"Well, he hardly counts, your highness. Fawful is certifiably insane."

"So what? He still gets the armored cell when they catch him. That was _my_ cell!"

"You should really think about it more practically, sire," Kamek said, "If you're put in a non-armored cell, then it's easier for you to escape."

"Yeah, but, they're not taking me seriously! It's like no one's afraid of me anymore!" Bowser pounded a fist on the armrest of his throne. "I mean, what am I if I'm not feared?!"

The little voice in Kamek's head replied, _You could gain the element of surprise and actually come out on top for once_ , but Kamek's mouth said, "What do you propose we do about this, then?"

"I dunno… Maybe… you said that Fawful kid was crazy, right? Maybe that's it! Maybe these days a villain's gotta be off his rocker to get any real attention!"

"So… you're saying you should go crazy."

"Just act the part, you know!" Bowser seemed to be enjoying this train of thought, and he leaned forward in his chair. "Like… that kid's got that creepy grin, right? Maybe I should try that. Stop the growling and start acting like I'm really _happy_ or somethin'. Here—like this. How's this look?"

Kamek looked in horror at his king's attempt at an insane grin. "Sir…"

"Yeah?"

"Never smile at me like that again."

"No good?"

"Terrible," Kamek sighed, "With all due respect, sire, I think that maybe you shouldn't be worrying so much about appearances."

"Appearances are important for a good villain!" Bowser argued.

"Y-yes, your highness, but what I'm saying is… you know, a reputation won't conquer the world for you. You've got to do that with your own hands."

"Yeah, but a scary reputation sure helps. Here, how's this for a maniacal grin?"

"Please stop that, sir," Kamek said, covering his eyes.

"I'm not very good at this, am I?" said Bowser.

"It's really not your style," Kamek said, taking his hand away from his eyes.

Bowser let out a loud sigh from his massive draconian lungs. "You're right. And… thinking about it, I can't imagine Peach would like it much either."

"There's that, too," Kamek said, "I can't imagine she would be willing to marry you if she thought you were crazy."

"But how else am I supposed to get people afraid of me?!"

Kamek shrugged. "Blow some stuff up?"

Bowser jumped to his feet. "Yeah—now you're talkin'!"

Kamek smiled, relieved to be back in familiar territory. Bowser had always had a soft spot for destruction, ever since he was a small child. "Come, your highness, let's take the Koopa Cruiser out for a joyride, shall we?"

"Yeah! Forget all that 'crazy' stuff. Real villains are all about blowing stuff up!"

Bowser stomped merrily out of the throne room. Kamek sighed, shaking his head with a smile on his face, and followed his king out at a more leisurely pace.


	13. Misfortune

013\. Misfortune.

Kamek and Fawful, at each other's throats once again after encountering each other in mid-air, were oblivious to their descent through the sky until they crash-landed through a building's roof and straight down two floors to the ground floor of a dilapidated old house that should, by all means, have been abandoned.

The two ceased their fighting just long enough to look up and see themselves surrounded by very tough-looking koopas. Not members of the Koopa Troop, both of them realized. Maybe a stray gang.

The koopas, obviously displeased by both the interruption to their gathering as well as the new holes in their meeting place, started to close in on the two rivals. Both of them attempted to make an attack on the approaching threat, but Kamek's hand was clamped tight around the tube which fed fuel to Fawful's headgear's blasters and Fawful had a hand around Kamek's wrist, preventing him from using his magic wand. Neither was willing to let the other attack, and as they resumed fighting amongst themselves they were overtaken.

Kamek woke up with a mother of a headache. He put a hand to his head, groaning, and looked around.

He was in a small, damp cellar, which had little in it except some plumbing which didn't seem like the kind used for transportation and various chunks of ceiling and plaster littered along the floor. There was one door to Kamek's right.

Kamek stood to try the door, but found that his other hand was weighted down. He looked down to see an unconscious Fawful, whose wrist was handcuffed to Kamek's own.

Kamek tried to pull his hand free of the cuff, but it was no use. He searched his pockets for his wand, but found nothing—not even his _wallet!_ He continued trying to pull his hand free, and when it became clear that that simply wasn't going to work, he started trying, gingerly, to pry Fawful's hand out instead. Despite Fawful's smaller hands, this still didn't work and only served to wake the bean up.

Fawful's eyes snapped open behind his glasses and he sat upright, looking around.

"What has happening? Where is being my Headgear?!" the little scientist cried. He noticed Kamek's arm cuffed to his own and tried to pull away. "Why do you have attaching to me? Stop it!"

"Easier said than done, kiddo," Kamek groaned. He demonstrated his inability to get the cuffs off and then sat back down.

Fawful tried desperately to remove the cuff from his hand. "I do not wish to have attachment to the fink-rat who is you!"

"I'm not thrilled about it either," Kamek said.

"I am knowing! I will have gnawing of my hand until it is off!" Fawful laughed, and then proceeded to start chewing on his own wrist.

"I really don't think that's the best solution," Kamek said. What he didn't say was that that had been his first instinct as well. But, he figured, he was an adult and he couldn't allow himself to act as childish as Fawful was now.

"Perhapsing not," Fawful looked thoughtful for a moment, and then grinned. "I am having a better idea! I will have removing of _your_ hand!"

"Hey, that's not—" Kamek was cut short when Fawful lunged at him, knocking him over. Fawful bit into Kamek's forearm, and Kamek responded by punching the bean in the stomach. And thus their fight began anew, the two of them kicking and punching and screaming any insult they could think of at each other.

"Hey, hey! Cool your jets!" said a voice. The two stopped what they were doing and looked up to see a Boo entering from through the wall. "What're you two fightin' about? Looks like you're in quite the predicament, can't see how fighting would help your situation any. Why don't you—"

Fawful threw a chunk of plaster at the Boo, who got the idea and promptly disappeared.

"Boo of stupidness," Fawful hissed.

"You idiot! What was that for? He was going to _help_ us!"

"I have doubt that a Boo would have want for helping us," Fawful said.

"What if it was one of _my_ Boos, hmm? Ever think of that?"

"All the more reasoning for me to have attacking it," Fawful attempted to cross his arms smugly, but Kamek pulled the chain and prevented him from doing so. Fawful growled at Kamek and raised a fist to attack him again.

"But," Kamek said before Fawful struck, "Maybe that Boo had the right idea."

"I cannot have cooling my jets," Fawful said plainly, as though this were the most obvious thing in the world, "As they are attached to my headgear which I am currently not in possession of!"

"That was just a figure of speech," Kamek said, "And that's not what I'm talking about, anyway. I was saying that maybe we shouldn't be fighting. I mean, I don't know what those guys are planning but if they've locked us in here it probably isn't good news for us. It might be in our best interest to work together."

"I do not _like_ working with you," Fawful pointed accusingly, "As you are the one who has the sneakyness of treachery."

"Come on, what've I got to gain from betraying you here?"

"A shield of corpseness?"

Kamek rolled his eyes. "You can be really morbid when you want to be, huh."

"I have practicality."

"Look, stop with all the suspicion. I want out of here. I have things I have to do today and sitting in a dank cellar isn't one of them. I'm sure it's the same for you, right?"

"Of coursing," Fawful nodded.

"Then we're gonna have to help each other."

"Fuuu… fining," Fawful sat down. He pouted for a moment before addressing Kamek without looking up at him. "Are you in possession of any magic items?"

"No," Kamek said. "They took everything. I assume you're in the same boat?"

Fawful checked his cloak, and then the pouch on his belt and the pockets in his clothes. "I have fury."

"What about that time we got in jail? How did you manage to blow up that wall then?"

Fawful frowned. "Ruru… I am not wanting to reveal my secret hiding place to you who may use the information against me at a date which is later."

"Get over it, kid, we have to get out of here!"

"Have covering of your eyes!" Fawful ordered.

"Oh, come on!"

"Have the doing of it or I will not use the explosives!"

Kamek thought this was all very stupid, but he covered his eyes nonetheless. There was a rattling of the chain as Fawful moved his hand, seemed to shake something, and then the clicking of what sounded like a plastic lid of some sort opening and being closed again. Fawful chuckled.

"Have looking!"

Kamek looked and lo and behold, the little boy had a tiny stick of dynamite in one hand and a match in the other.

"Kid, do I even want to know where you keep that stuff?"

"My hiding skills have much amazingness and are one of the many, many reasons why you will never have the defeating of me," Fawful quipped. "Before we have exploding, howingever, I have questions."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. Are you having capability for magics without your wand of mysticalness?"

"Not anything particularly useful."

"But you are having some?"

Kamek shrugged. "Only this:" he held a hand out and under his breath mumbled, " _Parva lux, causa fatue, arcesso,_ " and there was a flash of light. He shrugged a second time. "I can kind of hold it like a flashlight too, in case there's any dark places, but that's about it."

Fawful huffed. "Some 'wizard of greatness' you are being! Cackletta could have doing all of her spells without a wand of magic!"

"Bean magic and Koopa magic are entirely different!" Kamek tugged at the chain and walked to the door. "And I'll have you know that Koopa magic is much more powerful, because _we're_ the ones doing things _right!_ Now blow up the stupid door."

"Magikoopas have much denial of incompetence," Fawful muttered, jamming the little explosive into the doorframe. He struck the match and lit the bomb. He then proceeded to run away, with Kamek in tow.

The explosive blew, taking the door and part of the wall with it. Kamek looked at the destruction and whistled.

"You really pack a punch into your explosives, huh."

"I have amazingness," Fawful said, marching toward the door.

The two of them exited the room to find themselves in a short stairwell. They started to ascend the stairs, and Kamek looked down at the handcuff.

"I wonder why they cuffed us together, though."

"That has obviousness," Fawful said, "Have you not had watching of the movies where the two amazing ones are captured and escape and have the overtaking of the captors by having separating and double-teaming their enemies?"

"They'd be better off just tying us to something," Kamek said.

"They perhaps were only in possession of one set of handcuffings?"

"Yeah, maybe," Kamek shrugged. Maybe, he thought, they saw how the two of them were fighting and assumed that, if cuffed together, the two of them would be too busy trying to kill each other to be able to escape.

They got to the door at the other end of the stairwell and pushed it open slowly. On the other end was a dark room; Kamek wondered how long they had been knocked out, as it must have been night for it to be so dark. He held out his hand.

" _Atrum in hac est,_ " a ball of light appeared before his hand and it dimly illuminated the room. They seemed to be in the room they had fallen into before; a tarp now covered the hole in the ceiling, but it was clear they had done a lot of damage to the place. Kamek looked around and saw no one nearby.

"We've got to find the key to these cuffs," Kamek whispered to Fawful.

Fawful nodded and looked around. "Are you seeing any keys?"

"No," Kamek said. "Here, let's look around."

The two of them searched through the room thoroughly, but found nothing. They made their way to another door. They found, on the other side, a group of koopas sleeping. They backed off, closing the door.

"One of those koopas of sleepiness might have the key in their possession," Fawful said.

"We're gonna wake them if we try searching them," Kamek said.

"We are never going to be finding the key which we are in need of if we are afraid to be looking!"

"Maybe we ought to find our weapons first. Your headgear's big so it's not the sort of thing that can be hidden in someone's pocket, am I right?"

Fawful nodded. "Perhapsing. But where would that being?"

"How should I know? We have to look," Kamek looked around and spotted another door. "Let's check over here instead."

They went to the other door and found another set of stairs leading up.

"Our stuff's probably on the top floor," Kamek said.

"Why are you saying that?"

"Because I've been involved in a lot of evil plans," Kamek said, "And I know that generally when you capture someone, you keep them in the basement and their stuff on the top floor."

"That is the stupidest thing my ears have ever been hearing," Fawful frowned.

"You go on and say that, but watch—I'll turn out to be right."

The two walked up the stairs, reaching the top floor. As they opened the door at the top and walked in, the light coming from Kamek's hand faded out.

"Oh, for the love of…"

"What had happening?"

"This spell only works for a few minutes. Here, _Lux alius—_ "

Kamek was cut short when something unseen hit him and Fawful, throwing them both across the room and into a wall. Kamek rubbed his throbbing head and groaned.

"What had hitting us?" Fawful asked.

"I don't know, I can't see. _Qui me grasset!_ "

The room lit up and Kamek could see none other than a giant mole in sunglasses standing near the door, where they had been attacked.

"He must be the one who is the boss," Fawful observed.

"We didn't see _him_ before!" Kamek said. "Why's a mole in charge of a Koopa gang?"

Fawful shrugged.

The giant mole took a step forward. "You two did quite a number on our hideout!" the mole waved a clawed hand toward the middle of the room; tarps covered holes in both the ceiling and floor, and a few planks of wood had been thrown across the hole, over the tarp, probably to make it harder to fall through accidentally. "We're not happy about that, you hear!"

"Well, we really didn't mean to do that," Kamek said, "And I'm very high ranking in the Koopa Troop, so if you'll just return my things and let me go I'm sure I can compensate you _very_ generously."

"Oh yeah, I'm so sure!" the mole laughed, "I ain't fallin' for that trick, no sirree!"

Fawful chuckled. "People do not fall for the tricks of yours even when they are not being tricks!"

"Shut up," Kamek hissed.

"You two are really gonna get it!" the mole rushed forward, and Kamek just barely managed to duck out of the way, pulling Fawful along with him. As he rolled onto the ground, he noticed on the other side of the room a shelf with all of their things on it.

"Fawful, look!" Kamek pointed to the shelf, "I _told_ you!"

"But I do not remember you having mention of a boss," Fawful grumbled.

"Details, details," Kamek looked back at the mole, who was getting back up after falling over from the force of his failed attack. He watched the mole adjusting his sunglasses. "Here, I've got a plan. Come with me."

Kamek ran toward the mole, Fawful right behind him. He kicked the mole in the shin as hard as he could, and as the mole leaned forward in pain, he jumped up and snatched away his sunglasses, leaving the mole's sensitive eyes exposed.

"Hah!" laughed the mole, "Do you really think that's gonna do much? It ain't light enough in here for that to slow me down!"

"Not yet," Kamek grinned, then thrust his hand out at the mole's face. " _Lux in tui vulte!_ "

There was a great flash of bright light, and the mole fell over, covering his eyes and screaming in pain. Kamek kicked the mole in the side for good measure, then he and Fawful ran to the shelf to retrieve their weapons.

The mole eventually got back to his feet, blinded and furious. He squinted at the two of them, just barely able to make out their forms in the darkness, and rushed at them.

Words don't really exist in any language to describe exactly how quickly and efficiently the two of them were able to take him out, now that they were once again armed. All that can be said is that it wasn't long before he was on the ground, unconscious and sizzling. Kamek searched the pockets of the belt he had been inexplicably wearing, and managed to find the key to their handcuffs.

"Finally I will have freedom from the smelly one who is you!" Fawful said as Kamek put the key in the lock.

"That smell, I think, is _you_ , Fawful," Kamek said with a smile as he pulled his hand from the now-open cuffs.

Kamek wandered over to the shelf to retrieve the rest of his things.

"Oh, and Kamek?" Fawful said as Kamek mounted his broom.

"Hm?"

Fawful opened fire on Kamek, who circled the room as he dodged the blasts. " _I am still going to have the killing of the fink-rat who is you!_ "

Kamek laughed as he shot out of the hole in the roof, Fawful following hot on his heels. And for the thousandth time, the battle was on once again…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kamek's magic words!
> 
> (as translated into Latin by someone who knows very little Latin)
> 
> Parva lux, causa fatue, arcesso – I call some light for this idiot.
> 
> Atrum in hac est – It's dark in here.
> 
> Lux alius- - Another light—
> 
> Qui me grasset – What hit me?!
> 
> Lux in tui vulte! – Light in your FACE!


	14. Smile

014\. Smile.

Bowser Jr. dashed into the Koopalings' playroom with a new camera in his hands. He'd stolen it recently and was quite happy with himself for it. It wasn't very fancy, just a compact plastic automatic, but he was a kid who had no need for anything more complicated than that and he was going to have fun with this thing.

"Guys! Guys!" he waved the camera, "Look what I got!"

The elder Koopalings didn't bother looking at their brother as he rushed in, having learned that the best way to get him to go away was to simply pretend he wasn't there to begin with.

Junior ran up to Wendy and started poking her in the shoulder. "Hey! Wendy! Wendy! Smile, I wanna take a picture of you!"

Wendy, who was busy reading _Koopa Teen_ magazine, simply covered her face with the magazine and grunted. Bowser Jr. took the hint and, although a little miffed, ran over to Larry, Iggy and Lemmy, who were playing cards in the middle of the room.

"Iggy! Larry! Lemmy!" Junior chirped, "Smile! I've got a new camera!"

"Go away," Larry said.

"We're busy," Iggy added, glaring at his cards.

"Go bother someone else," Lemmy said.

Bowser Jr. huffed. "Jeez, fine! And Iggy has five aces!"

Bowser Jr. stomped off as Lemmy and Larry both tackled Iggy, screaming insults and accusations. He approached Ludwig next.

"Ludwig," he said, "I got a camera! Smile so I can take a picture!"

Ludwig pounded on his piano keys, producing as loud a sound as he could. He shouted over the racket, "Vhat! I cannot hear you!"

"I said—"

More pounding on the keys. He wasn't even trying to make actual music, just noise. "Vhaaaaat!"

"Nevermind!"

Boswer Jr. was really getting upset. He didn't have much hope for Morton or Roy, but figured he might as well try. His remaining two siblings were playing video games on the big-screen TV,

"Hey, guys—"

"Bug off!" Roy grunted. Morton didn't acknowledge Junior at all.

Bowser Jr. sighed and walked out, aware that he wasn't wanted there. He pushed open the door and started walking down the hall in the direction of his bedroom, staring at the floor despondently. Not watching where he was going, it wasn't long before he bumped into Kamek while turning a corner.

"Hey!" Kamek caught himself, barely preventing himself from falling over. "You should watch where you're going, Junior, you might hurt yourself. Or me."

"Sorry, Kamek," Junior mumbled.

Kamek caught on to the dejected tone in Junior's voice. "Hey, what's wrong, kid?"

"Well, see," Junior showed Kamek his camera, "I got this new camera, but no one'll smile so I can take pictures of them!"

Kamek laughed and gave the small prince a pat on the head. "Junior, Junior, Junior… you've got things all wrong. You're not supposed to get people to _smile!_ You're supposed to sneak up on them and take pictures when they least expect it, and then use the photos to embarrass them."

Junior thought about this for a moment, then smiled with delight. "Wow, why didn't I think of that?! Thanks, Kamek!"

Bowser Jr. hugged Kamek, then ran off to return to the playroom. Kamek smiled, frowned, and called to the receding prince:

"Just don't do that to _me_ , okay?! Just as a favor, since I helped you?!"

The closest thing he got to a reply was Junior giggling madly. Kamek sighed.

"What've I done…?"


	15. Silence

015\. Silence.

Fawful growled. The royals in the castle above his bean shop were throwing a party and, much to his chagrin, the noise permeated down to the sewers and into Fawful's shop. He himself was busy flipping through some new books, researching the mechanisms he'd need for his latest doomsday device, but he couldn't concentrate with all of this noise.

"I have fury!" he yelled at the ceiling, knowing that they couldn't hear him through the floors and over the noise, but he still said it as though they might have gotten the idea. He snapped his book shut and, throwing on a cloak, stomped out of his shop.

He went straight for the exit, knowing that the whole sewer system would be overwhelmed by the same noise. He'd made a secret exit when he first moved in, one that didn't go through the castle like the other exit did. It was a tight passage, too small for the fat Mario or the tall Luigi to ever hope to fit through—even the tiny Fawful had to suck in his gut to fit through. But it allowed him to get outside without being noticed, and that was the point.

Outside was even worse. The walls and windows barely muffled the noise of music and conversations and Fawful stomped off into the town, pulling his hood over his head, hoping to find someplace he could study.

Once he was in town, the noise from the castle wasn't so bad. It was little more than a dull rumble in the distance, and he smiled to himself as he looked around for someplace well-lit enough that he could read, despite the nighttime darkness.

He sat down at a bench under a street light and opened his book. He hadn't been reading long when he became aware of a noise coming from a nearby house; it sounded like some sort of quarrel, and it was quickly increasing in volume.

"Ruu… Fury…," Fawful mumbled as he closed his book and wandered off.

He went to the next street light. It didn't have a bench like the last one, but he sat down on the sidewalk and started to read. He got two more pages in before a small black cat wandered up to him and started to meow.

"Have leaving!" Fawful said in a hushed voice, "I am having no need for cats of loudness!"

The cat ignored him, rubbing its face on his side and meowing.

"If you are possessing expectations for petting and food, then make preparations for being disappointed!" Fawful said to the cat before pushing it away.

The cat approached once again, not understanding that he wanted it away. Fawful growled and stood up, stomping down the sidewalk once again.

"Third time has charming," he mumbled to himself, trying to keep from losing his temper.

He looked around. Where could he go that was quiet, well-lit, and out of the reach of that cat?

He looked up. He smiled.

He spent much of the rest of the night sitting atop Merlon's home, spinning along the rotating roof as he read page after page of his book.


	16. Questioning

016\. Questioning.

Kamek didn't claim any sort of responsibility over any of the Koopalings. All those years raising Bowser had turned him off to the idea of raising any more of the Koopa royal family, especially considering the fact that Bowser alone was bad enough, but he had _eight_ children that were all as belligerent as he was.

Bowser Jr., however, had hijacked a special place in what sufficed for Kamek's heart.

(Incidentally, when asked, he'd insist that he had no heart at all, at least not in the metaphorical sense, and the Koopalings all hypothesized that he instead had a very pumped-up liver handling all his emotions for him instead.)

Perhaps it was because he was so similar to Bowser himself. Perhaps Kamek just felt sorry for him because his siblings had all chosen him as their personal punching bag. Either way, Kamek didn't avoid Bowser Jr. like he did the other Koopalings, and so it wasn't so unusual that Bowser Jr. wandered into Kamek's study.

"Hey, Kamek?" Bowser Jr. said in lieu of a knock on the door as he walked in.

"Yes, Junior?" Kamek said as he stared into his crystal ball, once again trying to divine the future.

"How come the other Koopalings don't like me?" Junior stood next to Kamek's desk.

"They're just jealous," Kamek cringed internally at the clichéd response he had just given. Didn't parents tell their kids that all the time? With Junior it was true, but it was a lousy answer regardless.

"Jealous of what?" Bowser Jr. asked.

"Because his Majesty clearly seems to like you better," Kamek said.

"Couldja ask King Dad to maybe tell them to knock it off?"

"That'll just make things worse, kiddo."

Bowser Jr. leaned forward. "Why?"

"Because then they'll make fun of you for being a tattle-tale or something childish like that. I don't know. Just ignore them."

"Can't I just beat them up or something?" Junior held up his fists.

Kamek waved a hand over his crystal ball as he continued to stare at it. "I wouldn't recommend it. Not until you're older and big enough to hurt them."

"What if I just break their stuff when they're not looking?"

"Go for it. But don't get caught. Pin it on one of the others or something."

"Okay," Junior stood on his toes and tried to look up at what Kamek was doing. "What'cha up to?"

"Mystical stuff," Kamek said, not wanting to bother Junior with the details.

"Ooh, what kinda mystical stuff?" Junior pulled up a stool and climbed up on it to watch Kamek's crystal ball. "Can you teach me how to do mystical stuff?"

"Not really," Kamek was starting to feel a little irritated by now, but he reminded himself that this was the Prince of the Koopas and the most likely heir to the throne—not to mention Junior's siblings were all far more annoying—and he bit his tongue. "You've got to be a Magikoopa to do very much magic, Junior."

"How do I become a Magikoopa?"

"You can't," Kamek said. "You have to be born that way."

"Awww. I wanted to zap people and stuff," Bowser Jr. slumped over the desk, moped for a moment, then looked up at Kamek again. "How come Magikoopas all wear funny glasses?"

Kamek frowned. This was _really_ testing his patience.

"Betcha it's 'cause you're always staring at those crystal balls," Junior said, answering his own question, "What do you see in that thing, anyway?"

Kamek sighed. "Junior?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm kind of busy, here."

"So?"

"Go bother your father or something."

Bowser Jr. huffed. "Fine! Maybe I will!"

Bowser Jr. stomped off, slamming the door behind. Kamek sighed in relief, glad the distraction was gone. Bowser Jr. would probably go complain to his father, but by now Bowser was used to Junior's temper tantrums and really didn't pay them much mind.

… not usually, in any case…

Kamek frowned as an image appeared in his crystal ball. His immediate future, maybe? His eyes widened and he jumped out of his chair, leaving the room and chasing Junior down the hall.

"Wait! Junior, come back! I didn't mean it!"


	17. Blood

017\. Blood.

Fawful tinkered away with his machinery in the dark recesses of his bean shop. At the moment he was ripping apart some old motherboards from some failed experiments, hoping to use them for something else, and—

"Ouching!"

Fawful pulled his hand away from the electronics to find that he had cut his finger open on one of the broken boards. He put his finger in his mouth instinctively, immediately tasting blood on it. He knew what to do. Whenever he cut his finger as a kid, Cackletta would put a band-aid on it.

He got up and walked over to a shelf, standing on tip-toes to grab a box of Bean'd-aid brand bandages. He grabbed the box and pulled it down, opening it to find it was completely empty.

"Oh noes!" Fawful said to himself, "I am without the adhesive medical strips which have the covering of my wounds and the stopping of the bleeding! What am I to be doing?"

Fawful tore through the shelf, looking for another box of bandages, but found nothing. He whined. Where was he going to get a band-aid at this time of night?

He rushed out of his shop and to the secret sewer exit. He got outside and ran into Toad Town, straight to the store. He tried to open the door and , finding it locked, started pounding on it with his uninjured hand.

"Have opening! I am in need of adhesive medical strips!"

No response. He pounded harder. "It is of much urgency! I will have bleeding to death and then I will have deadness and I will not be happy about that!"

Finally the shopkeeper, who lived in the store, yelled through the door, "We're closed! Go away!"

"But—"

"Go _away!_ "

"Ruuu… I have fury!"

Fawful turned on his heel and stomped away, going back to the castle sewers and back to his shop. He sat down on the counter of his shop, scowling while sucking on his finger. What was he going to do?

He thought about it. Weren't band-aids just made from sticky stuff and gauze? In theory, couldn't he just grab a piece of tape, stick it to a scrap of tissue, and call it a band-aid?

He jumped off of the counter and went to his shelf. He pulled down a roll of duct tape and a box of tissues, and within minutes he had his very own makeshift band-aid.

"I have brilliance!" he declared to himself, "Perhaps I should also become a medical doctor of healing, as well as a machinist of amazingness which I already am, rururu!"

He looked down at his finger to put the duct-tape bandage on it, but stopped short.

His finger had already scabbed over; it was no longer bleeding.

"Reeh? What has happening?"

He poked at his wound. It was done bleeding alright. He sighed. He had thought himself so clever. He tossed the band-aid away.

"What a wasting."


	18. Rainbow

018\. Rainbow.

Fawful gripped at the steering wheel of his go-kart as he stared down the course in front of him.

Rainbow Road. The place gave him the creeps. It was out there in space, and for all his scientific knowledge he couldn't figure out how there was either air or gravity up here. And what if he fell off? His kart was pretty amazing, but it certainly wasn't equipped for space travel. But of course he wasn't going to back out just because he was nervous. He couldn't have the others thinking he had gone soft.

And then there was the road itself. _Rainbow?_ He hated rainbows. They were so… _happy_. As a self-respecting villain, he was offended by the color scheme. In fact, he was offended by exactly how many things in the Mushroom World had a rainbow color scheme. The star road pieces, the crystal stars, et cetera. It was ridiculous.

The light turned green and he sped down the colorful track, wondering what sort of weirdos were in charge of these things.


	19. Grey

019\. Grey.

Thunder rumbled in the background as Doopliss walked about the forests surrounding Twilight Town. The sky above him was cloudy and threatened of rain, and the world around him was nicely grey. He liked days like this. Spooky things happened on days like this.

Mostly because he was out _causing_ the spooky things, of course. The clouds messed up his satellite TV. Stupid bad reception.

He sidled up to a tree, hiding behind it as he watched two Beanish tourists who were setting up camp in the woods.

"A-a-are you sure we should've picked T-Twilight Town for camping?" asked the first Bean, who was shaking as he fumbled to set up the tent.

"What, are you chicken?" asked the other, in a tone that Doopliss knew. Obviously this Bean had chosen the creepy locale just to bother his companion.

"N-n-no," the scared Bean said. "I-it's just… what if there're b-bears?"

"Bears? Pffft," the more confident Bean grinned, " _I_ bet what you're really afraid of are all the _ghosts_ and _monsters_ that live in these woods!"

The scared Bean whimpered. "Gh-ghosts? M-m-monsters?!"

"Yeah. Big scary ones. What, you didn't know?"

"… Y-you're making it up."

"You keep telling yourself that."

This was too easy, Doopliss figured, but oh well. He was in dire need of some mischief. He thought up the scariest sort of monster his imagination would allow, changed his form to look like it, and shambled out of the trees whilst making roaring noises. The scared Bean, as would be expected, screamed and ran away. The other Bean, however, stayed where he was and started laughing.

"Oh—oh man, Johnny, that was perfect! Great costume!"

Someone else walked in from the trees, wearing a lousy Frankenstein costume. "Thanks," he said, "But I didn't—"

Both of them stared at Doopliss for a moment before they both screamed and followed their more jumpy companion. Doopliss poofed back to his normal form and fell over laughing.

He loved these grey, spooky days.


	20. Fortitude

20\. Fortitude.

Fawful had to admit that there were days where he just wanted to curl up and cry.

As much as he loathed the fact, he was still very young. He never really had a chance to act his age though. Ever since Cackletta had taken him in, he had been too afraid to show any sign of immaturity, for fear of shaming himself in front of her. Not that he resented her for it, of course—he wouldn't hold anything against his mistress. But sometimes things got to him.

Especially lately. Especially now that she was gone.

But he wasn't going to give in. He couldn't cry. He was getting older now—he figured he was probably in his early teens by now, though his own age wasn't something he was ever good at keeping track of—and he was an infamous villain now. He couldn't cry. He just couldn't.

 _"You have to be strong, always,"_ she had told him once _, "It doesn't matter if you've scraped your knee. It doesn't matter if your machine broke, or your puppy just died, or whatever. You have to be strong."_

Great villains didn't cry when things didn't go their way, he knew. Bad things would always happen to him, _always_ , until he managed to succeed. He knew that. She'd prepared him for that.

He had never thought that those bad things would include his mistress's death, though.

 _"It's called fortitude,"_ she'd said. _"Things happen. Sometimes you want to just give up. But you just grin and whip out your laser or whatever weapon you've got and keep doing what you've been doing. You can't let things get to you."_

Fortitude.

Cackletta had fortitude. She'd tried a thousand world-domination plans before, she'd been trying since before Fawful had even been born, but she never allowed herself to be discouraged. He wondered what sort of bad things had happened to her back then.

He'd never know. She didn't dwell on those things.

And neither would he. He wasn't going to cry. He wasn't going to give up.

He had fortitude.

And above all that, he had _fury._


	21. Vacation

21\. Vacation.

There was a little place out in the ocean that the world's do-gooders didn't know about.

It was a place crawling with evil, though in truth no evil was actually ever committed there. It was, in fact, a vacation spot. It was a sunny tropical island, hidden by cloaking devices, where all villains from all around the world came to soak up some sun and relax in a place where stupid good guys wouldn't intrude on their holiday. Thousands of treaties had been signed agreeing that no villain would ever expose its location, or build a base of operations there, or fight with any other villain there. It was neutral territory, in a way—it was evil, but it wasn't aligned toward any particular _sort_ of evil.

Kamek was lying on a towel, relaxing on the beach when a certain Duplighost approached him. Kamek lowered his sunglasses to look at him.

"Look," said Doopliss, pointing across the beach. "Look who's here."

Kamek looked over to see Fawful, standing at the water's edge wearing a pair of red swim trunks and an apprehensive look on his face.

"Hm. Wonder how he found out about the place," Kamek said, "Think the old hag told him back when she was alive?"

"Don't know. Don't care," Doopliss said, "I've been looking for that kid for weeks, I'm gonna—"

Doopliss had begun to stomp over, but Kamek grabbed him by the arm and stopped him. Part of him thought to just tell Doopliss where Fawful's hideout was so he could attack him later and spare them the trouble here, but he figured he preferred having Fawful in an easily-observable place, and if Doopliss drove him out then Kamek would have to find him all over again.

"You know the rules," Kamek said instead, "You can't start any fights here."

"He bombed my steeple!" Doopliss cried, "You realize how much money I spent bribing the Boos to fix it for me?!"

"He's done much worse to me," Kamek reminded Doopliss, "You've heard about that all, haven't you? Brainwashed me and King Bowser, stole more gold than you've seen in your entire life, ruined several of my plans and caused me great physical harm."

"So then let's go cream him _together_ , slick!"

"We can't do that! If _we_ start fighting, then every _other_ villain with a grudge on someone is going to start fighting, and pretty soon we won't have a nice vacation spot to go to anymore!" Kamek said.

Doopliss groaned, knowing Kamek was right.

Just then, Fawful walked up to the two of them, smiling mischievously.

"Greetings of hello!" Fawful said to the two of them, "I am in need of the sunscreen of skin-protecting!"

Doopliss glared at Fawful through narrowed eyes. "What makes you think we'd give any to _you_ , slick?"

"Because the rules of importance say that all villains are to be getting along in this place," Fawful said.

"That doesn't mean we have to give you anything you want," Kamek hissed.

"Oh? Are you having _argument_ with me? Arguments are things which often escalate into fists and kicking and the 'ouch my face', and are therefore not being allowed on this island, as I have sureness that you are knowing!" Fawful smiled, "Should I have getting the authorities of largeness?"

Kamek sighed. "No, here." He handed Fawful the sunscreen, and Fawful took it and skipped off to the other side of the beach, pleased with himself.

Doopliss growled. "As soon as he's off this island, he's so dead."

Kamek paused, looked at Doopliss, and grinned. He had an idea. "Or maybe sooner."

Kamek leaned over and whispered his plan to Doopliss, who also grinned.

"Why didn't _I_ think of that?!" he said.

"Because you aren't a genius like I am," Kamek said confidently.

Doopliss thought to argue with Kamek on the blatant insult, but decided to ignore it and ran off to put their plan into motion.

It wasn't long after that Fawful was swimming in the ocean, now covered in his ill-gotten sunscreen. He was having a pretty good time.

In the corner of his eye, he thought he saw something bob up out of the water and back in again. He looked over, but only saw the ocean waves. He was sure he had seen _something…_

At the edge of his vision, he again saw movement. He turned, but lost it again.

"I have nervousness," he mumbled to himself.

He decided that that was enough swimming for now, and started making his way back to shore. It was just then, however, that a shark jumped out and attacked him.

Kamek watched from the beach as Fawful was attacked. He laughed as the young Bean splashed and flailed, trying to get away.

Eventually Fawful made it back to the beach, and Kamek approached him, trying not to laugh.

"You okay there, kiddo?"

"A-A shark had attacking me!" Fawful said, bruised and battered and gasping for breath. "It was coming out of nowhere and had the biting and the ramming and the wanting to devour me!"

"Is that so?" Kamek said. Doopliss was walking up to them, and Kamek nodded to him in acknowledgement.

"I say to you yes!" Fawful said, "If I had not the swimming away, I would have been eaten and digested."

"Nah, I doubt that, slick," Doopliss said, frowning. "You'd taste awful." Doopliss then spat out a scrap of Fawful's now-tattered swim trunks.

Fawful stared at the scrap, moving his mouth as though to say something before finally he collected his thoughts. He pointed at Doopliss accusingly. "Y-you! You had the—"

"'Had the' _what_ , slick?" Doopliss spat, grinning.

"It is being against the rules for you to be attacking villains of fellowness!"

"I thought you said a _shark_ attacked you," Kamek said.

"Yes, but he—"

Doopliss flashed a set of sharp shark's teeth that he hadn't had a minute before. " _Prove it._ "

Fawful narrowed his eyes and glared at the two of them for a moment. He hesitated, contemplating whether he could get away with killing them both right then, decided against it, turned and stomped away.

Kamek and Doopliss watched him go, chuckling to themselves, and gave each other a high five.


	22. Mother Nature

022\. Mother Nature.

Mimi was walking through a forest. She, Nastasia and O'Chunks were on vacation in the Mushroom Kingdom, and had gone on a walk. Mimi, being as excitable as she was, had quickly gotten separated from the others, having a blast as she explored the unfamiliar place and getting good use out of her new hiking clothes.

For a while she could hear thunder nearby, but couldn't figure out where it was coming from. It was a bright, sunny day, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. She started to walk in the direction of the rumbling, trying to figure out what was going on.

She walked out into a clearing, and found it, oddly, draped in a low canopy of miniature anvil-clouds. At the center of the clearing was a small beanish boy in a red cloak hunched over some sort of machine that was shooting a beam of light into the sky.

She skipped over and stood behind him for a moment as he tinkered with the machine, completely oblivious to her presence.

"Hiya!" she said finally, causing the boy to jump in surprise. "What'cha doin'?"

The boy whirled around to face her, grabbing the ends of his cloak and holding out his arms, hiding his work behind the cloak. "Nothing! I say to you that you are seeing no things behind me!"

She squealed, clasping her hands together. "Aww, lookit you! You look like a little green-and-red Count Bleck!" She leaned forward and grabbed at the tattered edge of his cloak, "Except without such nice clothes, ick."

"What? Bleck of Countness?" the boy stared at her for a moment. "… What is your name being?"

"Mimi!" she said.

"Ah! I am knowing you!" the boy dropped his cloak, forgetting about his attempts to hide his machine. "The work of your friends and you has such amazingness; you almost had the destroying of the brothers of red and green!"

Mimi giggled. "Aww, shucks."

"You are not going to be having the alerting of the aforementioned red and green to what you are seeing here at this moment, yes?"

"I don't see why I would," she said, looking over his shoulder at the machine. "I try not to talk to hairy plumbers if I don't have to."

"And you will not have telling of anyone _else_ , yes?"

"I won't! Pinky swear! Now lemmie see it!"

The boy hesitated, then sat back down next to the thing, motioning for her to do the same.

"It is being a machine of weather-controlling," he explained. "Or it is supposed to being. I was not having sureness of its success so I was building a small version for testing, which is what you look at."

"Cool," she said, "Does it work?"

He coughed. "Well… that is to be saying…"

"No, then," she leaned closer to the machine, looking at various moving parts, before looking at the boy again. "Hey! You know my name but I don't know yours!"

"I am called Fawful," he said, picking up a nearby screwdriver. He started toying with the machine's innards.

"That's a stupid name," she said.

"My name is not for having the impressing of you," Fawful said.

She looked back at the machine. "So what's wrong with it?"

"I am unsure," he tapped at something, frowning. "In theory I should have ability to cause any sort of disturbance of weather and also as well be able to make skies of clearness, but as of now I am only being able to make clouds and lightning and rumbling and none else."

"Oooh," she said, "So you could make like tornadoes and stuff?"

He nodded. "When this ceases brokenness, yes."

"And like, if I was having a picnic I could call you up and say, 'hey, make sure it's not raining today'?"

"I am not sure why I would have obeying of the one who is you, but for the purposes of answering I say yes."

"Neat!" she chirped, "Can I help?"

"No," he said, trying to remove a part of some sort.

"Why not?"

"Because it has much complication and one such as you could not be able to have understanding of it, so—" there was a spark, then the beam of light coming from the machine brightened, briefly shooting past the clouds and through to the clear sky above before returning to its previous intensity.

It started to rain.

"Oh, no!" she whined, "I'm getting all wet! Good going, smart one!"

Fawful huffed, then with one arm held his cloak over her, shielding her from the rain. With his free arm, he furiously tinkered with the machine, until it shot out another bright light and the clouds finally dissipated, ending the rain.

"… Thanks," she said.

"Now I am being _soaked_ ," he grumbled, taking his cloak off and waving it a bit, trying to dry it out.

Mimi heard familiar voices approaching from the direction she had come from.

"'K, um, I'm pretty sure the light came from here…"

"Aye… ach! I found the wee lass! Mimi!"

Mimi whirled around and skipped toward O'Chunks and Nastasia, who had stepped out into the clearing. Behind her, Fawful covered his machine with his cloak and watched the newcomers suspiciously.

"Mimi, you know you're not supposed to wander off like that," Nastasia said.

"Aww, I'm sorry Nassy," Mimi said.

O'Chunks looked at a puddle of water. "Why'zit all wet 'ere?"

"Ummm…," Mimi looked back at Fawful, who put his finger to his lips in an exaggerated shushing motion. She looked back at O'Chunks and Nastasia, "I dunno?"

"Well come on, now, we've still got more stuff to do today," Nastasia said, taking Mimi's hand, "Say goodbye to your friend over there and let's go, 'K?"

"Okay Nassy," Mimi waved to Fawful, "Byyyeee Fawfie! Good luck on your thing!"

"Do not have the calling of me that!" Fawful replied.

Mimi giggled and waved again, then followed Nastasia and O'Chunks away and back into the forest.


	23. Cat

023\. Cat.

Kammy wasn't sure why there was a cat in her study.

She'd walked in one morning and there it was, curled around her crystal ball. She approached it apprehensively—she really didn't trust small furry animals. She reached out with her wand and nudged the cat in the stomach, causing it to raise its head, look at her, then put its head back down. Kammy noticed a string tied loosely around the cat's neck, with a paper tag hanging from it. She grabbed the tag and pulled it off of the cat. It read, " _For Kammy – From Kamek,_ " with a devious face drawn next to it.

Kammy groaned, wondering what exactly Kamek was up to. Carefully, she picked up the cat and carried it, at arm's length, out to the hallway, plunked it down on the cold stone floor, and went back into her study, slamming the door behind her.

She sat down in front of her crystal ball and, holding her hands over the sphere, started to concentrate. Her focus was soon broken, however, when she became aware of the sound of scratching on her door. She tried to ignore it and continue her divining, but the scratching was then joined by a loud yeowling. Kammy slammed her hands on the table and stood up, stomping to the door.

She opened the door a crack and glared down at the cat, who in turn stared up at her, silently pleading with her to let it back in.

"Stop that," Kammy said. "I don't want you in here."

The cat meowed. She closed the door, and immediately the yeowling began again. Kammy cracked open the door again, and this time the cat pushed the door open enough for it to get in. It shot past Kammy and jumped back up onto her table and returned to its position curled around the crystal ball.

"Out! Out!" Kammy yelled, picking the cat up. She left the room and walked down the hall. She stopped about ten yards away and put the cat down, then ran back to her room and slammed the door behind. She waited for a moment.

… Silence.

She returned to her crystal ball. She raised her hands above the ball, started to concentrate, and…

_Skritch skritch myeoooowwww!_

She leaned back in her chair and let out a harsh sigh. Why did that cat want in so badly? She didn't smell any catnip anywhere, so it couldn't be that… had Kamek trained it to only sleep in her room? Was it even possible to train a cat to do anything?

She got up and opened the door. She grabbed the cat as it tried to run inside, and stomped down the hall with the creature in her hands, getting weird looks from other Koopas passing by. She stopped at the door to Kamek's study and, her hands full, kicked the door instead of knocking.

Kamek opened the door and, seeing who it was who was visiting him, smiled coolly.

"Oh, hello Kammy. I see you've met Sergeant Whiskers," he said.

Kammy grunted and shoved the cat into Kamek's hands. "I don't want it," she said.

"Aw, but can't you see it loves you?" Kamek said, faking a concerned tone while cradling the cat in his arms.

"Well I don't love it," Kammy said. "Just keep it away from me."

Kammy then turned and started to walk away. Behind her, she heard the door to Kamek's study close. She looked back, and saw the cat, sitting outside Kamek's door. Kammy frowned, and continued walking down the hall. She stopped. She looked back again.

The cat was sitting behind her, but had followed her down the hall. She sprinted the rest of the way down the hall, slamming her door behind her.

It wasn't long before the familiar scratching noise returned.

_Skritch skritch meow myeeooowowow…_

She sighed, rubbing her temples. This stupid cat…

She opened the door again, stepping her foot in front of the cat to keep it from dashing in. "If I let you in," she said to the cat, "Will you stay out of my way?"

The cat stared up at her.

"Promise to stay out of my way," she insisted.

The cat meowed, cocking its head to the side.

She shrugged. "Good enough."

She moved to the side, allowing the cat to run into the room. It immediately jumped up onto the table and laid down next to her crystal ball. Kammy closed the door again and walked back to the table. She picked the cat up and put it on the floor before sitting back down. It started to get ready to jump back up, but she glared down at it.

"Don't you _dare_ ," she hissed.

The cat looked at her for a moment before it circled around Kammy's chair once and then laid down at her feet.

She sighed. Well, this was better than it making all that noise, at least…

And with that thought, she returned her attention to her crystal ball.


	24. No Time

024\. No Time.

Nastasia tapped her foot, looking up the staircase of the home she was sharing with O'Chunks.

"Um," she said, an impatient tone to her voice, "O'Chunks, we're supposed to meet Mimi at the Sweet Smiles in two minutes and we're going to be late at this rate, 'K?"

"Hold yer horses!" O'Chunks called back to her from upstairs, "Ah'm puttin' mah trousers on!"

"Well, do it faster!" she said.

"Ah'm doin' it as fast as ah c'n!" he said. There was a pause. "Ach, where did ah put meh shoes?!"

Nastasia sighed. "O'Chunks, we really don't have time for this!"

O'Chunks thundered down the stairs, running past Nastasia to look under the couch. "Ah'll be ready once I find meh shoes! Ah cannae go out barefooted!"

"Why didn't you just wake up earlier?" Nastasia asked, exasperated.

"Why dinn't yeh wake meh up earlier?" he asked in reply, lifting up the couch but not finding any shoes.

"I, um, didn't realize you were going to sleep in until five," she said. "This is terrible. We're going to be late, and, um… um…"

O'Chunks put the couch down and looked back at the secretary. "Are yeh okay, Miss Nastasia?"

"I'm fine," she said, although she certainly didn't _sound_ fine.

"Lookit yeh, yeh're hyp—hypeh—hypehventalatin'," he said, struggling with the large word. He walked up and gently grabbed her by the arms. "Calm down, arrite?"

"O'Chunks, go find your shoes, 'K?" she insisted.

"It's arrite if we're a tad late," O'Chunks said. "It's not the end of the world or nothin', an' wee Mimi usually comes late too so she'll hardly notice."

Nastasia looked away. "But…"

"But?"

She looked back at him, a pained expression on her face. "But we'll be _late_."

"It'll be fine," he assured her. "There ain't no Chaos Heart or nothin' loomin' over an' limitin' the time we got, r'member. We c'n take our times an' be late fer things. Jus' relax."

"I guess you're right…," Nastasia sighed. "… still, I'd rather not be _too_ late, so hurry and find your shoes."

O'Chunks nodded and let go of Nastasia. "Right!" He then ran back upstairs and continued his search.


	25. Trouble Working

025\. Trouble Working.

It was a dark night at Bowletta's flying fortress. Fawful was awake still, the pounding of his hammer and the sizzling of his welding resonating through the halls. Bowletta yawned as she walked through the castle, pulling her ill-fitting bed-robe tighter as she drew closer to Fawful's shadow, flashing against the walls as he used the welding torch once again. She entered his work room and watched him for a moment. Once the sparks stopped flying, she approached her toady.

"Do you really think you ought to be welding this late at night?" she asked.

Fawful jumped at the sound of her voice, got to his feet and bowed. "G-Great Bowletta! I must ensure that my ship has completion before the brothers of red and green are making arrival!"

"You look like you're going to keel over at any second," she said, noting the dark circles under his eyes. "How long have you been working on that thing?"

Fawful looked away, not wanting to admit how long he'd been working. "But… it has the overheat at times, which could prove fatal if the brothers of Mario-ness are to be attacking while I am trying to have cooling of it and—"

"Right, right," she sighed. If she knew one thing about Fawful, it was that he wasn't one to stop working on something once he had started.

Bowletta turned and walked off. She returned soon after, holding a mug of coffee in her claws. She nudged Fawful, who looked about to doze off over his soldering iron. "Here."

"Hn-? Coffee of caffeineness? I am not allowed to be drinking—"

"It's okay for now," she said, "You look like you need it."

Twenty minutes later, Bowletta remembered why she had forbidden Fawful to drink coffee in the first place.

He was bouncing off the walls, running to and fro to get this or that part, taking perhaps two seconds to furiously hammer at something before losing interest in that part and running off to get something else.

"Fawful!" she yelled, finally growing tired of watching this ineffectual show of effort, "Could you focus, please? It doesn't look like you're making any sort of progress at all."

"But! Butbutbut!" Fawful stammered, speaking even faster than usual. "TheboltsoffasteningnessaretobebeingherebutIamneedingtoalsobesecuringthispartintheplacewhereitistobegoingand—" Fawful continued on for several minutes like this, but it didn't take long for Bowletta to tune him out.

"Okay. Well," she sighed, shaking her head. "Don't break anything."

Fawful started blabbering out a response, but she was already walking back to her bedchambers. For about an hour more she could hear him working, until finally the noise stopped and she assumed he'd simply passed out.


	26. Tears

026\. Tears.

Fawful looked over his cloak critically.

It'd always been pretty tattered. He rather liked that look, something about it made him look more villainous. Like… like he'd just come out of some great battle or something.

But this…

He'd tripped on the cloak when he went out earlier that day, and now there was a huge rip along the seam that went up past his waist.

He remembered that this had happened before, when he was younger. Cackletta had fixed it, and she said something about it being easier because the tear was along the seam. But Fawful, sitting there with a needle and thread in hand, couldn't understand where to start.

He didn't get why this didn't come naturally to him. He could build complex machines, he could fix any piece of electronic… sewing shouldn't seem so daunting.

He looked at the needle, then at the cloak, then back at the needle.

He tossed the needle aside.

He couldn't think of a problem yet that he'd failed to solve with welding.


	27. Foreign

027\. Foreign.

Fawful ran into Mimi again when he was out grocery shopping.

She didn't recognize him at first, due to the hood he was wearing to hide his identity. But after pulling his hood down when he wasn't looking and getting a long lecture about why doing that was a very bad idea, she knew who he was.

"You know," she said after they went down two aisles, putting food in his shopping cart, "I noticed something."

"Hm," he said, barely listening as he read the label on a box of crackers.

"You're the only green person around here," she pinched his cheek to emphasize her point.

Fawful rubbed his cheek, frowning. "Are you having a problem with greenness?"

She pointed to her own face. "Duh."

Fawful looked her over, as though he had entirely forgotten that she herself was green. He shrugged. "This is being the Mushroom Kingdom. There are not many people of Beanishness here."

"So are you from somewhere else, then?"

"The Kingdom of Beanbean," Fawful said. He tossed the crackers into his cart. "It is being to the south of the place which we are being now."

"What's it like there?" she asked, "Must be pretty lousy, since you're here now."

"It is being not bad," Fawful said, glaring at her for her insensitive remark. "It would have being better if it were being ruled by the Great Cackletta and the one who is me, but it is being a good place which I am preferring over this place of mushrooms and stupidness."

"Then why're you here instead of there?" she dropped a box of cookies into his basket.

Fawful took the cookies out and shoved them into her hands. "I am not buying."

"Aw, come on," she held them out to him, "Please?"

"I am saying no," Fawful said, "Do the buying of them yourself."

"I'll be your best friend," Mimi batted her eyelashes.

"If you are offering friendship of best for such a trifling thing, then I am not wanting it," Fawful said.

Mimi put the cookies back on the shelf. "Jeez, stupid meanie. Anyway, you didn't answer my question."

"I am a bean of fugitivity," Fawful said with disdain. However, he followed it by smiling proudly and adding, "I am being number one on the list of criminals wanted!"

"Not bad. What'd you do?"

Fawful grinned. "I had stealing the Beanstar and feeding the Queen a worm of belly-belching and taking over the Hooniversity and kidnapping of the Peach Princess and destroying of the Castle Town and—"

"Okay, okay, I get the idea," she looked him over. "But you're so shabby-looking. Aren't hot-shot villains supposed to be well-dressed and classy?"

Fawful looked at his clothes and shrugged. "I am being not good at the sewing."

"They're called stores, Fawfie, you go out and buy the clothes," she gave him a piteous pat on the head. "I'll have to take you shopping."

"For some reason that I have no comprehension of, this proposition fills me with dread."

Mimi frowned. "Whatever. So you're stuck here, then?"

Fawful nodded. "Less people are having the recall of my face in the country here. I am giving them false names, telling them that my name is things like Gerakowitz or Krankfried or other silly things like that, and they are believing. In Beanbean, no matter what I am doing they have the recognizing, I am too famous."

"Well that sucks," she said. "I mean, being famous is cool, but not when it gets people trying to arrest you."

"I am agreeing," Fawful clenched his fists, making a determined face. "But—but soon, I will have spreading the jam of invasion upon the bagel of their kingdom! And then it will form the healthy breakfast which is leading to my victory! Then the Beanbean Kingdom will have worshipping of me, the mighty and amazing Fawful! Fururu!"

Mimi blinked, looking around. "… Yeah. People are staring now."

Fawful coughed. "I have apology. Sometimes the fury has me."

"We should go."

Fawful nodded. "Quickly, I am thinking."

The two scurried away, dragging Fawful's cart to the checkout for a speedy getaway.


	28. Sorrow

028\. Sorrow.

Princess Peach was rather good at sewing.

She wasn't really required to do all that domestic stuff—things like sewing, or cooking, what have you. She enjoyed it, though, so she would take some time aside here or there to bake a cake or, as she was doing today, sew herself something.

She was pretty absorbed in her work, so when she heard the door open and close behind her, she just assumed it was a maid there to tidy up. It wasn't until she felt a small hand tapping her arm that she looked at who had entered.

The person who had done the tapping was Mimi, dressed in yet another one of her high-fashion ensembles. Behind her, however, stood Fawful, whose wrist was being held in Mimi's death-grip. He didn't look like he really wanted to be there.

Peach tried not to freak out. Fawful was certainly a dangerous Bean to have around, but Mimi was mostly-reformed, so if she was accompanying him then things surely couldn't end too badly, could they?

"U-um," Peach stammered, "What is it?"

"Fawfie wants you to teach him to sew," Mimi said.

Peach blinked, a bit taken aback. "He… what? Really?"

Mimi nodded "Yep. Say 'please', Fawfie."

Fawful glared at Mimi. She elbowed him in the ribs. He flinched. "Ugh… I am saying 'please', although I am much loath to be doing it."

"Yeah, see," Mimi said. She was smiling, but Peach could hear in her voice a tone of frustration with Fawful's attitude. "He really needs a new cloak. He ripped it and then thought it'd be a good idea to try to weld it together. With _fire_ , can you believe that?! Look at how burnt it is! You've gotta show him better."

Peach really wasn't sure this was the best idea. "Well, I don't—"

"He promises not to try to kidnap you for, like, two weeks!" Mimi said.

"No I do not!" Fawful said.

"Yes, you _do._ "

Fawful rolled his eyes. "Do I have to be meaning what I am saying?"

"Yes, you have to mean it! Sheesh!" Mimi looked back at Peach, smiling with that falsely-sweet smile of hers. "So what do you say?"

"… Why can't you teach him?" Peach asked.

Mimi coughed, averting her gaze. "Well, see, that's not really something I know much about…"

"But you have all those custom-made dresses, don't you?"

"Oh, but I don't make them myself," Mimi laughed, trying not to seem embarrassed. "I have people to do that for me. But they're all on strike right now and Fawfie won't step foot in a clothing store, so we've got to figure something out, right?"

Peach sighed. She might as well go along with this madness; after all, she really wasn't in the mood to anger either of these kids. "Okay, I'll do it."

Mimi jumped up, letting out a pleased squeal, while Fawful just shoved a piece of paper into her hands.

"It is to be looking like this," he said.

"This is different from your old cloak," Peach said.

"Mimi had the designing. She is saying that it is being something which she has calling a 'fashion no-no' if I am to be wearing the same cloak for too many plots of evilness," Fawful explained.

"N-not that he's planning anything!" Mimi chimed in. "Just, you know, we're talking hypothetically here."

Peach, again, decided not to argue. It wasn't like she was facilitating his evil by teaching him to sew, she was just letting him feel _pretty_ while he did evil. Or something. She put the thought out of her head. She got up and walked to a cabinet, opening it and pulling out some fabric. She then returned and set about showing the small Beanish boy how to measure, cut and sew the material.

Eventually, Fawful was sewing the cloak himself, with only minimal assistance from Mimi, who wasn't as good at this as Peach would have hoped. Peach just sat back and watched as the two children worked.

"Sheesh," Mimi said to Fawful, "With all the cool things you know how to make, I'm surprised you never learned to sew."

"I was never needing to," Fawful said, working out a knot in his thread. "In the past of not-nowness, the Great Cackletta had doing all sewing for the one who is me." His voice cracked at the end of that sentence, although he tried to look like it hadn't.

Mimi reached over and put her hand on his shoulder, comforting him while he tried to look strong. "It's okay, Fawfie. I know what it's like to lose somebody."

Fawful glanced at Mimi, then started sewing more quickly, trying to hide the fact that he'd let some emotion slip in the presence of two other people. In his haste, he pricked his finger. He sucked on it.

"Ouching…"

Peach sat in silence. Fawful was such a conundrum. She had seen this side of him in the past, but she forgot it so easily. Whenever he was trying to take over the world, he was always so evil and maniacal, it was hard to think of him as this weak little child. And whenever she saw this sad, lonely side of him, she almost forgot that he was an insane little crackpot out to destroy her kingdom.

She knew that no one was really easy to understand, and that everyone had multiple sides to them. Fawful, though, seemed such an extreme example of this. His sides didn't seem to fit together. But here he was, an amalgamation of callous sociopathy and lonesome sorrow. He was, at all times, both an evil mastermind and a lost child.

She was broken out of her reverie by Fawful holding the fabric up to her face.

"Is this stitch being good?" he asked.

"Hm?" Peach inspected it. "Yes, I think so. Good job."

"Fururu," he smiled, rather pleased with himself. "I am being amazing, you are seeing. Behold my mastery of stitching!"

Fawful sat back down and continued sewing. Peach sighed. Villains were certainly hard to understand, but that wouldn't stop her from trying.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand... that's all I wrote for this challenge. I hope you enjoyed at least some of it. Thanks for reading!


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